It isn’t what happens that upsets us, but what we think about it.

Where this comes from

Another line from Epictetus’s handbook, written down by his student about 1,900 years ago. He meant that two people can meet the very same thing and feel quite differently about it, because of what each one tells themselves.

How you could say it to a five-year-old

“No park today. So disappointing. Is the whole day ruined, or just the park?”

Epictetus, Enchiridion 5. We put these lines into plain English ourselves, staying close to the original and to public-domain translations.